Inner Workings of Cross
by SterlynSilverRose
Summary: The story is a sweet little interaction between Cross and Allen after episode 27 with Meina and Narein. No pairings in this story at all.


After everything Allen had gone through with Narein and Miena he couldn't sleep. It had been days since he had first killed an akuma, but the anger and helplessness of the situation had started to get to him. He didn't eat, couldn't sleep and Cross watched his disciple secretly from his perch at the bar.

The child had lost that gentleness and childishness. Cross shrugged, _who am I to say anything to that kid? It's not my problem._ Turning around he looked at the bar and sighed swirling the wine around in the delicate glass. Red, the color of passion but also the color of blood and that thought was enough to make Cross put the wine glass down absently as his eyes focused on the boy once more. He couldn't keep him running around forever, he DID after all have an anti-akuma weapon. He was no sort of babysitter or teacher.

Allen laid his head down on the table. The fish weren't biting for the money that night and he felt so stifled in the main pub they sat in. People were staring again at his red hand. _Why can't they just leave me alone? _He didn't want to get close to anyone, and he sure didn't want to play cards tonight for the jerk that sat at the bar. _I hate you. Because of you I…_He sighed and brushed some hair out of his face his fingers tracing the scar on his cheek.

"Why this world? Why here and why me? Why can't I be one of the people that had never met the Earl? Then Narein and the others wouldn't have been hurt and I wouldn't be hurting." Allen muttered under his breath, feeling again the tears that threatened to spill over his two friends and their deaths. One because of an akuma and the other accepting help from the Earl of the Millennium both had died, one by a building and the other by Allen's own hand.

Looking down at the hand that had killed Narein made Allen physically sick. Standing up as he looked around the room, he felt disoriented and not quite connected to his surroundings. The room started to spin, the agitation and helplessness serving to further aggravate him. Turning to look at Cross his stomach churned and Cross just stared back with unsympathetic eyes, "You're a monster. You make me sick." Allen uttered before turning and moving quickly out the door.

Cross wasn't stunned at all by the kid's words. They were true after all and he understood why. Sighing he stood up as all the patrons in the pub looked at him, "What are you staring at?" He put down some money on the bar, "A round to the house on me." With that he walked out knowing that no one was stupid enough to come after him. After all the black and gold he wore was a billboard that told he was a born killer and he knew how to fight.

Allen moved down an alley with the scenery rocking back and forth into his view almost like the ocean waves causing him to hug to the wall. A strong hand grabbed his shoulder and caused him to flinch. Soon that deep voice was right there behind him, "Where do you think you're going?" It was the deep voice of his master. Allen tensed and looked over his shoulder. That same emotionless gaze met his angry blue eyes as he turned his back against the wall slapping away Cross's hand.

"Don't touch me!" Allen cried out. The world spun and danced around him as he slid down the wall hugging his knees. "Don't you DARE touch me...I hate you. You said that you would train me and you have made me your slave. You have asked me to do impossible things. You TOLD me to kill Narein! If I hadn't accepted to become an exorcist Narein might still be alive right now! Miena and Narein might still be at the palace and he would still be sitting there reading his medical books, and Miena would be dancing and practicing! It's not fair! Why does the Millennium Earl exist? I don't want to fight if it means hurting those close to me!"

Cross listened to the small boy pour out the emotions that had been welling up inside him. _Is this what he really thinks? He's right on one level I suppose but, even this is tough for me to let go._ Crouching down as he had done in front of Allen the first time they had met he reached out and touched the flinching boy's forehead and not surprising to Cross he felt the other indeed have a fever. A weak hand attempted to bat his large hand away, but like so many other things in his life, Cross ignored the feeble attempt and picked up the boy. _It's all right sometimes to show kindness. _

Feeling himself up in the air Allen gripped onto the general's exorcist coat as he was carried quietly back to the place they were staying. He was silent the whole way there and desperately trying not to pass out. He wouldn't put it below Cross to leave him in an alley and disappear. Then all the time he had spent would really be for nothing. Finally, he could feel the wind off of his heated skin and he heard the creaking of the boards under his master's feet.

A low light was always kept on so that if Cross came back to the inn where Allen stayed he could find his way to the scarcely used room. Cross looked around the room as he moved to place Allen down on his nicely made bed. Allen opened his eyes and just stared at Cross, but at the moment even that tired him out because he was seeing double. "Not two of you. I must be in Hell." Cross found it within himself to let out a soft chuckle.

"This Earth is Hell. That's why Akuma exist here." Allen was silent to the elder's answer of his statement. _I guess he has to take care of his cash cal or else he'd have to work himself._ Allen would not and could not allow himself to care for this man. That was one of Cross's cruel tricks. He had fallen for it once and it had taken him this long to be able to express himself fully to the man. _All I want is someone to care for me. I want a parent and a teacher. Care for me. _

Cross looked down at the uneasy face of his pupil and sighed pulling up a chair before moving around the room to prepare a cold compress for his head. It was going to be a long night. "Honestly, my troublesome student is so worthless." He muttered as he came back with a rag and then a bowl of ice cold water. He didn't notice right off that Allen was lucid or that he could still hear him.

"If I am so worthless and troublesome then go out and fuck with women and spend the money I earn." Allen coughed a little as he heard the groan of the chair as his master settled down at his side. "Don't sit here and act like you care when I know you don't." Cross felt a sting to what little conscience he had left and just sighed taking off his gloves. Allen scooted away from him on the bed and Cross again let out a sigh as he pulled the boy closer.

"Stay still you have a fever." Allen wiggled around his shirt damp with sweat and his pants clinging to his body as he laid there. His left hand twitched slightly, evidence that the paralysis in his left arm was still there and was not gone yet. _Maybe I pushed him too hard. He is only a kid after all. _Cross helped Allen to sit and got rid of his shirt and then his boots and pants as he slipped a thin sheet over Allen's body so that the boy wouldn't feel as embarrassed later at being nude under the sheets.

Cross took the time to notice that Allen was well built for a kid his age, but then again he worked hard and did manual labor. Cross dipped the cloth into the bowl and then started to gently wash down the boy's body trying to cool the raging temperature and soothe the other to sleep. _He's been through a whole lot. But, I don't know how to deal with kids. Komui is much better at this sort of thing._

Allen let out a soft noise as he laid there in and out of consciousness as his body was wiped down and then a compress put on his head. It seemed like hours before sleep finally claimed him and he was able to sleep without dreams. But, even then he whispered out, "Narein…Miena…I'm sorry." Tears pooled at the corners of his eyes threatening to spill as Cross watched over him his heart aching for once. Allen was special, and probably was the only person that could make him feel remotely guilty for his actions. _You'll become a good exorcist. I know you will. _

Upon waking the next morning, Allen felt as if he was tied down to the bed by a weight, but there was no such thing as he surveyed the room. There was an empty chair next to his bed and an empty bowl with a damp rag in it. Cross was no where to be found and Allen just sighed shutting his eyes letting his arm that served as a weapon lay across his eyes to block out the bit of sun that was shining through the partially open blinds.

Loud thudding boot steps could be heard outside his room and then the door was thrust open by Cross, who was carrying a back pack like bag and it was full. Throwing the bag to the corner for now, Cross pulled out some bread and sat back in the chair offering the bread to the white haired boy, "It's not much because we don't have money right now." Allen was stunned. _Cross brought ME breakfast and he really did take care of me?! _

The fact that Cross was there and had taken care of him all night long was evident to the others tired look on his features. Cross quietly chewed on some bread himself as Allen gulped his down. It had been days since he had last ate and the sleep had helped him out. No longer did he fill off balance or dizzy. The quiet situation was comfortable, and it was the most time that Allen had been given Cross's attention.

"You said some things last night Allen that I want to clear up." Cross thought back to the boys tearful gaze and accusing words that he wanted to address, "My training is not the best for kids…You worked and you're body shows this off and you can hold your own. But, something that is different from the other generals that look for the innocence is, I want you to hate me and get stronger and independent. You don't owe me anything, and I don't owe you anything. Remember I don't have a place by my side for the weak."

Allen listened to the quiet and deliberate words that Cross imparted on him. Of course he knew the man cared in his own way and that is what he got from the others words just then. He sighed and nodded, "I'm sorry master." As he looked down he felt a big hand on his head as Cross sighed with him. Allen looked up past the others hand to his eyes and Cross looked at him.

"I forgot that you were a child that had just lost someone dear to you. For that Allen I do apologize. I've been a general for so long that I have a heart of stone to do this work. Narein was important to you and I took that for granted. That is my bad." Allen felt his eyes tearing up at the mention of Narein, but he just wiped them away as Cross's hand left his hand. _I can't replace Mana with this man. Master isn't Mana...I was expecting too much from him. _

Later in the day after Allen had worked out a little Cross had called for him to his side. After much deliberation Cross had decided that he could not take care of Allen anymore and he couldn't keep him from the Order forever. He would release the other onto his destiny and to Komui's care. It was the most reasonable choice. _In the end I am just Marian Cross. I am no saint. _

Allen sat there on the ground in front of him as he just watched him intention. Cross stared at his wine glass as he talked. "Allen. You are now officially an exorcist." He didn't want to see the look of happiness or surprise on the others face. _This is for your own good. Harden your heart Allen…and you will become one of the best exorcists. My training was hard but you did good and survived. Continue to survive. _"The next step is to go to head quarters and introduce you to the other exorcists and I'll be going with you."

This was the first time his master had ever suggested going to the Order head quarters and introducing him as a new exorcist. Allen felt the thankfulness bubble up inside him. _Maybe he does care after all. _But, of course Cross's voice broke through his thoughts, "On second thought. You know where head quarters are …Right? Take Timcanpy with you in my stead."

Allen's head shot up as he noticed his master wielding a particularly large hammer. _Master?!_ Allen started to back away from Cross as Cross got up. "I will not go back there. I HATE that place." With that Cross hit the other as gently as he could making sure that he didn't kill his disciple, but hard enough to knock him out. As Allen laid there knocked out he smiled and then murmured, "Farewell Allen Walker. Become a good exorcist that is worthy of making me proud and standing by my side." With that Cross fled the premises.


End file.
